priviledge or license

It is so easy to justify the little pleasures of life. Surely in the last 20 days I have earned a hot meal at the local restaurant on post! Haven't I? 20 days in a dirty, smelly, crowded tent with 300 other guys. Running everyday. Going to bed late. Eating prepacked, dried MRE's everyday for lunch. Surely A burger was justified, wasn't it?

My last chaplain specific training concluded at brigade on the base. Instead of heading strait back out to the woods a couple of us chaplains thought it justified to stop and get a bite for lunch. When we arrived I saw many people from the Brigade that I knew. All the Battalion Commanders (BC), Command Sergeant Majors (CSM) and Executive Officers (XO) looked to be present. They were on lunch break from a long breifing. I saw my CSM coming out of the bathroom and waved. I felt in good company knowing my command was eating there also. As I ate I noticed all the other commanders and CSM's but could not locate my command sitting in the resturaunt. I thought maybe they were already done.

When I got back on the FOB that evening my XO asked me what I was doing there. I explained that I had just finished training and that we stopped in for a bite to eat. He did not look impressed. He asked why I did not join him and the rest of the 1/128th command in the picnic area next door. I told him I did not know you could take your food to go out there. He replied that not one of them ate in the resturaunt. They ate MRE's just like the rest of the soldiers in the Battalion. They would not stuff there faces with hot grub while the men they commanded ate cold MRE's in the field.

I was cut to the heart. I had totally missed it. Instantly I remembered how I had felt years earlier as a private when I sensed those in power where not living by the standards they established for the rest of us. I had always wanted this kind of comittment, dedication and integrity from my leaders when I was enlisted. Now in a place to display it I had fallen. It was humbling and properly convicting.

I spoke to my command about my indiscretion and apologized.

I don't know where these men stand with Christ. I suspect that most of my senior leaders are in the discovery stages of their faith. What is amazing and humbling being a chaplain is that I am learning so much from them. They are gracious and I believe forgiving. I am being schooled by some principled and dedicated men. I have much to learn about priviledge and license in reguard to leadership.

This lesson however has been etched deeply into the pages of my heart. I will remember this for quite some time...Please pray that I will continue to grow into the kind of leader worth following...Blessings

Dirt

Dirt is everywhere. I can't get away from it. 16 days in a tent with 300 guys. Guys who really do not "feel" the need for cleanliness. Something is starting to smell.

I have always teased my wife about the differences between dirt and dirty dirt. At this present time I do push-ups and sits ups out side in the dirt every day. Mostly that dirt does not scare me. I welcome it. I find myself looking forward to it, it is natural, a part of nature. I am a part of the created order. The scriptures declare that God formed me from the dirt of the earth. I like that.

There is, however, a different kind of dirt. There is a darker colored dirt in our tent. A dirt that gets mixed with the human condition. I am becoming more and more aware of the influence of this tainted dirt. I have a growing agitation as I circle around my cramped and dirty little space. I am aware of it but unable to control my exposure to this unwelcome mess.

Illness has run rampant though the tent. In the last 3 days 50 guys have reported to sick-call. I have what they have. Sick-call seems silly at this point. I know the prescription. Suck it up and drive on.

I can not control many aspects of my physical environment. I have no choice about where I will lay my head tonight. But that is not the end of the story. I am increasingly becoming aware of the subtle way that I do control certain parts of my environment. There is a sense in which I know that I am an agent of change. I have the ability to affect my environment positively or negatively. I cannot control what happens to me in life but I do control how I choose to respond.

I am sowing seeds in this soil. I am adding to the environment around me every day and I am determined to make a positive impact for Christ. When I am sucked into the temptation to look at all that is going wrong around me I feel depressed. When I remember the promises of God, the hope that I have and his faithfulness I feel uplifted, lighter and brighter. In my darkest times He shines brightest.

Living life in a way that reminds us of our connection to the human condition involves risk. We have to be willing to accept being dirty, really dirty. They are watching. The world is looking at us. Everyday is an opportunity.

Early in the morning

0530 hrs comes pretty early when your getting to bed consistently between 23-2400 hrs. We have a pack in the God squad of our Battalion. We are going to prayer every morning...nothing fancy...5-10 minutes before anything else. For us that happens about 0530 hrs. It is still dark and the mess hall still usually has plenty of people in it when we start. It has been neat to watch it catch on. I sense how right it is to be leading this at this time. A couple days ago I over slept and found 3 senior leaders gathered around my cot wondering why had stood them up. Accoutability is a really good thing. I am developing some great habits and I look forward to what God is going to do in us and through us because of this new found love, passion, an d discipline called prayer.

TRUE BELIEVER

Here is a thought for the day taped to the water cooler in our Battalion Opperations Center...It has a hundered applications for the Christian Warrior...check it out...

Somewhere a true believer is training to kill you. He is training with minimal water or food in severe conditions both day and night. The only thing clean on him is his weapon. He doesn't worry about what workout to do-his rucksack weighs what it weighs, his run ends when he catches you are you stop pursuing him. This true believer is not concerned about "how hard it is;" he knows he either wins or dies; he doesn't go home at 1700 hrs. He is home. He only knows the cause. Still want to call'er quits for the day?

Think about this in terms of the devil our adversary and his minions. The scriptures constantly warn us to beware of the spiritual forces at war all around us

John 10:10
1Timouthy 6:11-16

whata journey

I can't believe what God is doing down here. It is absolutely amazing to be experiencing the power and strength of the gospel among the troops I am serving.
It would be impossible to describe all that is happening. I have simply not been this amazed at what God can do since the first years of my salvation experience. That is a confession. I'm thinking this through as I write but I sense that I am in a very special place at a very special time and for a very special purpose. The grace and favor that God has been afording me is humbling. I feel an inexpressible joy at serving here even in the absence of those I love the dearest. His grace is amazing.

The services have increased in attendance in a very dramatic way. Every day it feels like I am in the right place at the right time. I don't know how to write this and not fear that you might think me boasting about myself. All of my training, all of my failures, all of my sucesses are coming to bear upon this premobilization. The religious ferver of the troops seems to be increasing. The trust they aford me is a privilege.

It is your tax dollars and the sacrifice of family and friends, that allow me to serve in this capacity and I am making it a goal to fulfill my calling and add to the exciting story that binds us all together, "HIS"TORY.

Blessings for now,
Pastor (Chaplain) Randal K. Miller
Captain, Battalion Chaplain
HHC, 1-128th Inf Bn